Seniors Real Estate Specialist, Marilyn Moldowan gives tips to adult children on how to lovingly talk to senior parents about moving
MARILYN MOLDOWAN SHOWCASED ON THE STRIP LIVE FOR VEGASNET MEDIA
TheStripLIVE.com | LAS VEGAS | Media Showcase | Interview with celebrity guest Marilyn Moldowan for THE STRIP LIVE celebrity talk show | Director’s cut | Join new media producers and celebrity positioning specialists Maria Ngo and Ray DuGray as they hangout and showcase Marilyn Moldowan (seniors real estate specialist) on location at the VIP MasterCAST LIVE inside Bellagio in Las Vegas.
In this interview, Marilyn Moldowan provides expert advice and tips how to deal with the challenges of facing every situation that families and their seniors might encounter on getting them emotionally ready to accept the process of selling their home.
To watch more interviews showcasing success stories from top celebrities entrepreneurs, and industry experts live from Las Vegas, visit TheStripLIVE.com.
—[BEGINNING OF TRANSCRIPT] [Maria Ngo] And with me is Marilyn Moldowan and she is a Seniors Real Estate Specialist, helping seniors get emotionally prepared and their families emotionally prepared to sell their home. Thank you so much for being here. [Marilyn Moldowan] You’re welcome. Thank you for having me. [Maria Ngo] So this is a very, I believe a common problem and that there are so many adult children now that are facing having a talk with their parents about selling their homes and it’s very emotionally charged and it’s a difficult situation to be in. So what do you recommend if you have adult children who have parents that are getting up in age and not able to really take care of themselves? What do you suggest would be the first step to move forward? [Marilyn Moldowan] It depends on the family for sure. But beginning the conversation and one of the ways that someone that I helped in the past is they had a conversation with their parents but they started the conversation by going, ‘Okay, mom and dad, remember how when we were teenagers we had the ‘sex talk’?’ [Maria Ngo] [laughs] [Marilyn Moldowan] And mom and dad are looking at them and going, ‘Yeah?’ ‘Now it’s time for us to have a ‘house talk.’ And so it introduced that topic in a really humorous, very soft way and a lot of times I mean, the adult children are saying, ‘Why doesn’t mom know she has to move? What, how can we convince dad?’ You know, why can’t they see that there’s a problem and what can we do to make them move? You can’t. You can’t make anyone do anything. But starting that conversation is a good, a good starting point. [Maria Ngo] And you can kind of understand. You know, mom and dad or mom or dad have been in that home and they’ve built up this home. This is their legacy This this is where they remember, you know their daughter or their son growing up, playing in the backyard. So, by moving on it’s almost like I’ve got to accept that I’m not healthy. I’m not that big strong dad or mother, correct? So having that, I can understand that. I can understand that from their perspectives. But what do you do when the parents are basically saying, ‘No, I’m not moving, even though you feel that I should move.’ [Marilyn Moldowan] Take a half, a heartbeat back and honor that and honor that. I think part of the conversation is okay. So set them up for success. What does, what can we do as a family to help make it easy for them to stay and also to keep them independent if that’s what they choose? So I mean, the things that often are suggested are: You know grocery delivery. Hire someone to take care of the lawn, care in the snow and all of those sorts of things. I mean medication delivery and you know in terms of doctor’s appointments, there’s buses and there’s taxis and that kind of thing. So really, there are lots of things that can be done but set them up for success. One family I know, actually purchases taxi vouchers for their mom as gifts. And so, you know she doesn’t necessarily need anything more for the house because the house is
already full but they give her a gift that will enable her to get around a lot more easily and it also frees up the time for the children. [Maria Ngo] And I think one of the great things that you said to me off-camera was you want to set them up for success. So if mom and dad don’t want to leave, don’t force them to leave because it’s ah, it’s very difficult. And you also said by setting it, setting them up for success, you stop. You take that step back and you ask them, ‘Okay, mom and dad, let’s take a look at this: In order to keep you in this house, what things need to be in place, so that you’re safe and that you feel good and you feel independent and also the family feels safe and independent.’ Alright? [Marilyn Moldowan] Right. True that. The one thing that’s so critical is the feeling that there’s not enough time especially for the adult children. That’s one more thing to go, pick mom and dad up. And many families don’t get me wrong. They’re honored to do that. They want to do that. So it again, it depends on the family. One of the things that I have seen work is in terms of part of that setting them up for success. Actually involved an adult child, where the adult, she was fifty years old and her dad passed away and her mom was still living in the family home and it just happened to turn out that the daughter was able to move back in with the mom. She had a career that enabled her to do that. The mom was glad for the company, for the ability to have someone to drive her and the adult daughter, of course, was able to be there in support of her mom and it didn’t matter to the daughter where she lived. And so, it was a really nice symbiotic relationship. So again, it depends on the family. It worked in that situation. [Maria Ngo] So okay. So let’s say mom and dad are able to stay in the house and everybody’s kind of setting them up for success but you know you want to move towards obviously, that start thinking about moving them. And you said, ‘Be gentle. Start slowly. So how can they start
proceeding getting everybody ready to sell that house? It’s a journey. [Marilyn Moldowan] Yeah. It’s a journey. There are so many things, you know. There’s something called decluttering. I wish there was a nicer way, nicer way to say it. But starting by removing sort of the neutral pieces of paper and the neutral items and the clothes and that kind of thing. Starting with the stuff that doesn’t have a lot of emotional attachment and slowly moving your way either through rooms or through cabinets and just and just starting to get rid of things that don’t serve the purpose anymore. Again, one family decided to totally empty out the basement of the family home first, because they realize their mom and dad weren’t going down there and so what they decided to do as a family is just go in and just start to move things out of the basement and again it’s just as it’s a starting point. It’s a starting point. In the process, there’s also something that happens and things are really loved. Items that have been
in the family for so long can be repurposed and given to someone who can actually cherish them. Part of going through a house full of memories is also allowing the family to feast on the life, to feast on the energy of that home and to and for it to be a rich-relationship connection and what does this mean and what does that mean? And it’s just a nice way to tell stories about this object. And so it can be a real reconnection for the family. It’s not, ‘Oh my god. We’ve got this house to get rid of and this house to declutter. [Maria Ngo] [laughs] [Marilyn Moldowan] It’s a way that actually some joy can be added into the process. [Maria Ngo] Absolutely love that because you’re honoring. You’re celebrating in their life and you’re doing it as a family and this is what I love about what you do. You are helping families sell a home, however, you’re really getting in and saying, ‘Look, the mechanics of it are the mechanics. You know it’s pretty straightforward. But what you do is so unique. You care. You take the time to help them emotionally get prepared for that process because it’s very, very difficult. And you know, this is as I’m going through some personal things with my parents and it’s very challenging because I think even if parents don’t want to get rid of the home, sometimes the kids don’t want to get rid of the home because that might be a whole other thing, right? [Marilyn Moldowan] True story. True story. The emotional preparation is not just for one person. The emotional preparation can go through the whole family, for sure. [Maria Ngo] That’s beautiful. That’s why I’d love what you do. So, thank you so much, a Seniors Real Estate Specialist. [Marilyn Moldowan] (Yes, I am) [Maria Ngo] But one that cares… [both laughs] [END OF TRANSCRIPT]